The impossibly long
list of reason why ASR and KKG will NEVER work out
1.
He's the most arrogant guy I've ever had the
misfortune to meet. If you looked up arrogant on Google, the first picture
there will be of Arnav Singh Raizada.
2.
His ego is bigger than Mt Everest. Actually it's
bigger than the freaking sun.
3.
We are exact opposites.
4.
I hate people who can't say sorry and the
aforementioned won't say sorry to save his life.
5.
He has a million secrets. Scratch that, one
would have to redefine infinity to place a number on it.
The impossibly long
list of reason why KKG should clean her room
1.
It looks like something died in here. No joke.
2.
To get rid of the ugly jacket that smells like
the aforementioned.
3.
To get rid of all the things that smell like the
aforementioned in general. Eg My red kurta and everything that was within his
proximity on Saturday.
4.
To find a
place to hide my camera from line of sight.
5.
To find the spare batteries that amma bought
just yesterday. I'm pretty sure she'll lecture me about how I'm a failure in
life just because a freaking pair of batteries went missing-ish.
The impossibly long
list of reasons why KKG should just stay in her room forever.
1.
Let's face it; the cleaning process will take at
least that long.
2.
The room is a confusion free zone: No college, no
crazy stalker dudes etctec
3.
The outside world is a dangerous place and I'm
less likely to die within these four walls. Note- Death due to excess
hyperventilation and dhak dhak is so legit !
4.
I love my room and love solitude even more.
5.
I don't have to face the aforementioned. Ever.
The impossibly long
list of reasons why college is so unnecessary.
1.
It's a proven fact that over 70% of the people
don't even use the stuff they learn in college. Ever.
2.
Too much drama is hazardous to health. No joke.
3.
Mr Sinnah is going to kill me one of these days,
I'm sure of it.
4.
All the billionaires in the world are college
dropouts. 'Khushi Kumari Gupta- On the list of Forbes magazine's Richest' has a
really nice ring to it.
5.
I make excellent jelabies. I can make a living
out of it without all this education crap. Speaking of jelabies, I must go make
a new batch.
The impossibly long
list of reasons why KKG should make jelabies.
1.
I don't want to think.
2.
I don't want to think.
3.
I don't want to think.
4.
I don't want to think.
5.
I don't want to think.
The impossibly long list of reasons why KKG
should call Priya
1.
She's going to kill me if I don't. (Are we
seeing a trend here, why do so many people want to off me?)
2.
She has the right to know about the *ahem*
aforementioned event with an aforementioned person.
3.
She can convince me otherwise regarding my
all-too-sensible plan of permanent exile.
4.
She can offer her comforting, albeit a little
fake, words of encouragement to my over dramatic life crisis.
5.
It's in the Best-Friend-Hand-Book. 'Thou should
call Best Friend regularly.'
The impossibly long list of reasons why Anil is such a sweetheart.
1.
He's drop dead gorgeous.
2.
He's got GREAT hair.
3.
His smile is absolutely infectious.
4.
He can say sorry.
5.
He's uncomplicated.
The impossibly long
list of reasons why Shyam (probably) wants to stalk KKG.
1.
He wants me to be a part of his underground
organization. Sex/Homicide/Drugs/Scandal
2.
He wants me to be his friend. Sex/Homicide/Drugs/Scandal.
3.
He wants to use me as bait. Sex/Homicide/Drugs/Scandal.
4.
I probably look like one of his psycho ex-girlfriends.
Sex/Homicide/Drugs/Scandal.
5.
Sex/Homicide/Drugs/Scandal.
The conversation
between Priya and KKG- A small briefing (with swear words omitted.)
Cupcakes. Fudge
muffin. Double scope of chocolate ice cream. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?
Calm down. What do half those words even mean?
Fish fingers and custard.
Now you're going too far Priya. Surely I don't deserve to be
called Fish Fingers and Custard.
You're lucky you
called. I was planning on looking you up on google, in case you were declared
dead or something.
I just had a couple of things going on Priya. A couple of
big, gigantic, mammoth, prominent...
Get to the damn point
Khushi.
Arnavkissedme also Shyamencounter.
Can you go over that
again... Arnav what also Shyam what?
Arnav may or may not have kissed me which may or may not have
been due to the talk I had with Shyam.
-...-
Priya are you still with me?
Hello?
HELLO?
Stop screaming into my
blue berry cupcake ears.
Well? What do I do? Damn, is my plan of permanent exile the only
option left? Damn Damn Damn.
Khushi. Just breathe
for a second 'kay? It's a very easy task. In Out. In Out. In Out.
Okay. Fine. Tell me in
detail what happened.
*A brief detailed account of yesterday's events*
So that's why I'm going to be a jelabie maker for the rest
of my life.
Jalabie making? Khushi
where do you come up with stuff like this?
Stop laughing. I'm having a mid-life crisis here.
Okay, look, if I know anything
at all about Arnav, it's that he loves to be in his comfort zone which is
basically just academia and tennis. You are wayyy away from his comfort zone,
so trust me he'll ignore you. As for Shyam, just keep your distance from him.
Let's not judge him at the same time let's just steer clear of him.
Priya what will I ever do without you?
Probably be rotting in
your hell-hole of a room for the rest of your life?
Very funny.
I try.
A summery to the
presently unnamed story for creative writing.
There was once a girl, beautiful and naive. She was adored
everywhere for her silly antics and funny gestures. Everything about her
screamed innocence. Until, one day she was grabbed by a hideous behemoth and
thrown into an ugly world where stalkers were common and evil kissing monsters
thrived. Will our damsel make it out alive? Will she overcome this cruel
torturous world and reach for the light? Only time will tell.
A brief message exchange
between ASR and KKG because I was stupid enough to message him.
I hate you.
Come again?
I hate you.
Okay.
I hope you drown in a puddle.
Okay.
I hope you accidently slip and break your nose.
Okay.
If you say 'okay' one more time I'll make sure it's your
last word. Ever.
Okay.
I HATE YOU. FOREVER.
OKAY.
An extremely small
list of reasons why ASR and KKG may work out.
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