The Road to Redemption

Khushi had fallen into a steady routine. She mechanically woke up, bathed and went to the kitchen to help her Amma and Bua-ji cook. There they would incessantly chatter as if afraid that the silence would break her. And she would give all her quirky comments with a fake smile planted firmly on her face. She didn't want anybody to pity her and so she pretended.


She pretended to be happy when Vimala Mausi told her about her daughter's marriage. She pretended to be happy when Ram Bhai told her that he finally decided to get married. She pretended to be happy when Payal called her up every day to gush about Aakash. There was no reason for her to be unhappy, at least for the sake of others who believed that 'all was well'.


But all was not well. How could it be after that fateful evening three months ago?


Three months ago her heart broke. Three months ago she was accused of being a home wrecker. Three months ago she broke-completely and fully.


The words still ring in her ears, as she laid awake on some nights, haunting and numbing.


You mean nothing to me...I don't care whether you exist or not...


How much more cheap can you get?


Do you lust after every guy you see? Make them fall for you and get some sick satisfaction out of it?


She tried her hardest to push the thoughts away, lock them up in a dark corner and remind herself that he was no longer a part of her life.


He was no longer a part of her life.


That was supposed to make her happy, let her be more like herself, forget the past and move on with her life. And yet ever since she left RM an empty feeling settled in her stomach.


Other memories haunt her as well. Memories she wanted to shun even more than the blatant insults that were hurled at her.


She wanted to forget his desperation, his pleading voice and most of all the self loathing in his eyes.


Khushi I didn't know ... .. Please Khushi tell me you'll forgive me...


I'm a horrible person but I promise, Khushi, that I'll never hurt you again ... .


Sorry.. I am really sorry ...


But she hadn't listened to any of his pleas, she wanted the pain to stop, she wanted to stop feeling for him- whatever the feeling was.


So she had regarded him with a cool disposition and told him that she wouldn't forgive him, not in this life time. She told him to stay away from her and that the only emotion he was worth for was hate. She had expected him to lash out, demand she forgive him, back her against a wall ...anything ...something. But he didn't do anything, not one single thing.


Arnav Singh Raizada had finally listened to Khushi Kumari Gupta.


In the last two weeks of her stay in RM, Arnav worked in complete seclusion, not uttering a word to her, not looking at her. He cleverly manipulated Shyam, feeding him lies, making him confess. He also stood by his broken Di, holding her hand, taking all the blame for his sister's misfortunes. In short he was ASR at his lethal best- calculative and infallible.


He wanted to rectify all the mistakes that he had made and he did, at least most of them.


To her utter astonishment he had gathered the entire family, both his and hers, and told them that the entire marriage had been a fake one and that Khushi and him were simply plotting against Shyam. The entire marriage had been a ploy to bring out Shyam's truth and that it had been solely his idea, he told them.


Only three people knew the entire story- Khushi, Arnav and Anjalie.


For all others-Lies abound.


Khushi knew that that was the only plausible explanation which would grant her some protection from the highly judging society.


And judging they were. The first week she was back in the Gupta household the entire neighbourhood was whispering and speculating.


The truth was she was not bothered by their wrong judgements, not nearly as much as she was bothered by Anjalie-di's reaction. The older lady, her di in many ways, had looked at her with contempt. Contempt for coming into her little bubble and taking everything she valued away from her. She of course hadn't said anything, but the hate was clearly visible in her eyes.


Nani had been more forgiving and surprisingly Mami too, as they sat by her and held her hand on her last day at RM.


The last day, the only day that Arnav had shown some reaction after that fateful evening.


She took down all her belongings- her shining stars, her colourful suits, her dangling wind chimes and the infamous Salman Khan poster, she stripped the room of all the 'Khushi'.


She had stood by the pool glancing at it and looking up at the stars when she had felt his unwavering gaze on her. It was the first time he had looked at her in weeks. She regarded him carefully and walked past him, ready to leave for the last time, when she felt his hand grab hers in a vice grip from behind. She let out a soft gasp as he spun her about and pushed her flush against himself. He looked at her with the same self loathing and his eyes pleaded with hers. Then he let go slowly and turned the other way, his back stiff and his shoulders tensed.


No more words were spoken between them. She walked out and never heard from him. He had let her go, just as she had asked. But as usual fate had other plans for the star crossed lovers.
The nucleus in Arnva and Khushi's relationship from the beginning- Anjalie Singh Raizada (as she was now called once more).

--
As Khushi was going about her routine on an overcast Friday morning, a white SUV parked in front of the house. A familiar tingling sensation settled in her stomach as she eyed the car a little apprehensively.


Had he decided to come for her after all? Or maybe he's here to invite me for his marriage.


The thought made her heart clench as image after image of Arnav with a faceless girl flashed before her eyes. The unwanted feeling of dread intensified as the back seat door was opened.


Anjalie Singh Raizada stepped out in all her glory. With her designer saree pined elegantly and her hair let loose she looked like the princess she was, like the princess she was treated like.


She was everything Khushi was not.


Khushi immediately dropped the clothes that she was folding and went outside.


"Anjalie di aap? If you had told me I would have come to see you."


The older lady simply smiled at her and motioned that they should go in. Her eyes held a fiery glint. Was this really the completely broken person that Khushi witnessed three months ago?


"Is there anybody at home Khushi ji?" Anjalie enquired as they sat down on the sofa next to each other.


"No they've all gone to a wedding." Khushi replied, slightly puzzled.


"And you didn't go?" The question was mild and innocent for any normal person but not for Miss Raizada. Miss Raizada always had an ulterior motive. She carefully gauged Khushi's reaction.
Khushi's eyes immediately dropped to the floor and she let the silence wrap them.


Anjalie sighed and straightened up, putting on a determined stance.


"How are you Khushi ji ... no don't tell me you're fine ... tell me the truth...please ... " Her voice was pleading and slightly shaky.


There was a reason The Princess always got what she wanted. The fragile tears that brimmed up in her eyes held precariously by her eyelids, the slight quiver in her voice as she pleaded, the tenuous down turn of her lips- were all enough to bring down the mightiest of the mighty. And poor Khushi didn't even stand a chance.


"I am fine ... . Now ... Anjalie di ... I wasn't ... but I am now ... . Things have been rough but they're getting better ... " She blurted out. "The important question is how you are Di?"


Anjalie gently grabbed hold of Khushi's hands and her tears finally broke free and fell on their clasped hands.


"Di ... Hai Devi Maiya ... Please ... what happened di?... Don't cry ... "


"I want to hate you so much Khushi ji ... for what you did to chotte ... . For what you've made him become'... but then how can I Khushi ji? How can I, when I know that you are the only person who can heal him ... bring him back?" She hysterically babbled.


"I don't understand ... . Wh ... What are you saying Di?"


She let go of Khushi's hand and stood up facing the wall, not looking at Khushi.


"Tell me Khushi, have you forgiven him yet?"


Khushi once again chose to remain silent, not knowing the answer herself.


Did she forgive him? Perhaps she did, perhaps she didn't. But did she forget? Definitely not. But don't they go hand in hand- forgiving and forgetting. Can you do one without the other?


Anjalie slowly turned around and looked at the girl, a child in many ways, in front of her. The confusion clearly shown on the woman-child's face.


"Khushi ji ... . I have come here to beg for something ... .No not for your forgivness ... but for one more lie ... . Please Khushi ji promise me you will do this one thing for me ... "


"Wh..What lie..?"


"Promise me you'll do it Khushi ji ... . Then I'll promise you that the only Raizada you'll ever have to see again will be your sister ... . Chotte and I'll never cross your path ... .. Please Khushi ji ... ."


To see this already injured women breakdown snapped all of Khushi's senses.


"I promise di ... Stop crying ... .Please ... " Khushi stood up and wiped away Anjalie's tears.


"Promise you won't back down?"


Khushi simply nodded.


"You have to lie to Chotte that you have forgiven him ... Only lie Khushi Ji..... Then you never have to see him again ... .."


"Why are you asking me to do this...? Why now?" Khushi's eyes were wide and almost fearful.


"It's because Chotte has a self destructive complex ... he will tear himself apart... he will hurt himself until he knows he's forgiven..."


"Hurt himself?" Khushi gasped.


"I don't mean blood and gore ... but emotionally... he will over work himself ... tear apart his entire room ... . The point is Khushi ji... I haven't seen my own brother properly in three months... he wakes up before everyone and comes home late in the night.. I wonder if he even sleeps...." She grabbed Khushi's hand again.


"He will only listen to you Khushi ji...Please...."


--


Khushi entered RM after promising herself that she would never again step in this place. She knew only heart break awaited her.


She was received by Anjalie who smiled at her lightly.


"Thank you Khushi ji.... I am forever indebted to you...." Khushi immediately interrupted her.


"Di ... Kaise bath kar rahe hai aap? Don't say such things ... . Am I not like your sister?"


"You are, Khushi ji ... .there's no one in the house today ... " Anjalie continued as she saw Khushi looking around. "I am leaving too ... ."


"Alone?" Khushi questioned.


"Alone." Anjalie confirmed and walked away, outside.


Khushi slowly walked towards his room. How had her entire life changed in a matter of just a little over a year? Why did Arnav Sigh Raizada have to come into her life? Why did he have to make her heart beat faster? Why did fate always bring them to together? Above all, why did the thought of never seeing him again terrify her?


When she reached the room and absentmindedly opened the door, the sight that beheld her made her gasp loudly.


Everything was mess. The bed sheets were sprawled about, the pictures on the wall were ripped from their position and discarded on the floor, the mirror on the wall was broken into a million pieces that covered the floor and the pool side was filled with the leaves of his dear plants, pots broken and leaves cut haphazardly with vile determination.


What happened to Arnav Singh Raizada in the last three months?


As her brain filled with a thousand horrific thoughts she moved and laid down on the bed, clutching his pillow that smelled so much like him. She felt her eyes flutter close and soon she was asleep.
--
A gentle touch along her cheeks woke her up. The touch was timid and light, almost as if caressing a dream. And Khushi was swept away by its soothing sensation. A gentle moan escaped her and the brushing hands immediately stopped. Her eyes snapped open to find chocolate ones peering down at her.


They looked at each other. Simply taking in one another's features, memorising every contour, as if this might be their last meeting.


"Arnav ji ... " It was Khushi who broke the silence.


That was enough to snap him, he took in her complete form and then removed his shoes and got into bed with her.


Khushi should have listened to the warning bells going off in her head, she should have maintained a safe distance, she should have told him what she came for and swiftly left never to see him again.
Instead she slightly moved over, accommodating him. She then wrapped her arms about him as his went around her shoulders. She rested her head over his heart, its sound calming her. Neither wanted to break the magic that had settled around them. But there was so much to talk. So many things left unsaid. So many 'sorries' to be told.


Khushi opened her mouth to speak. But Arnav interrupted, placing his finger on her lips.


"Shhh ... Don't say anything ... . Except this ... Do you forgive me?" There was no double meaning in his voice, the question was straight forward and honest. His eyes looked directly into hers.



"Yes." The answer was instantaneous, no second guessing. Of course she had forgiven him. How could she not? He meant everything to her.


She wrapped her arms firmly around him and breathed in his musky smell. They had taken the first steps on the road to redemption.